Stop Boasting. Start Asking.
Oct 14, 2025
Selling often feels uncomfortable because we think it requires one thing most of us hate doing: boasting about ourselves. We picture sales as standing on a soapbox, waving our arms, and shouting about how great our product or business is.
No wonder so many people avoid it.
But here's the truth: selling doesn't have to be about you at all.
Why Boasting Backfires
When we lead with ourselves (our accomplishments, our features, our benefits), we unintentionally put people on the defensive. Nobody wakes up in the morning thinking, "I hope someone tells me how great they are today." People wake up thinking about their own challenges, goals, and frustrations.
So when we make selling all about us, we miss the opportunity to connect with them.
Flip the Script: Make It About Them
Instead of boasting, start asking questions. The right questions show genuine interest, uncover what matters most to them, and build trust.
Here's the key: don't just ask questions for the sake of small talk. Ask questions that guide the conversation toward a space where they recognize their own needs.
When someone realizes, in their own words, that they have a challenge, the door opens for you to provide the solution, without ever needing to brag.
An Example in Action
Instead of saying:
"My service helps small business owners save time and grow revenue."
Ask:
"What's been the biggest roadblock keeping your business from growing the way you want it to?"
Their answer naturally shines a light on a gap, one your solution can fill.
And the best part? They'll feel like the solution was their idea, not something you forced on them.
The N.I.C.E. Way Forward
This is what I call Approachable Entrepreneurship. You don't need to be pushy. You don't need to exaggerate. You just need to shift the spotlight.
Make it about them. Listen closely. Guide with the right questions.
When you do, you won't have to "sell" at all. They'll see the value for themselves.
Your Action Step
The next time you're tempted to talk about how great your business is, stop. Instead, prepare three powerful questions that get the other person talking.
Chances are, their answers will lead directly to your solution, without you ever having to boast.
This article first appeared in my LinkedIn newsletter, Approachable Entrepreneurship.
Need help writing those three questions?
How to Sell When You Hate to Sell walks through the N.I.C.E. method, including which questions to ask and in what order, so the spotlight stays on them and the solution feels like their idea.
Keep reading: Be the Most Interested in the Room, Not the Most Interesting
Want the whole framework?
How to Sell When You Hate to Sell walks through the N.I.C.E. Sales Method step by step, so you can have the conversations your business needs without pretending to be someone you're not.
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